Aequitas Arbitratus
by maskedgoomba
Summary: Set after Wave Country Arc and during the Chunnin Exam: a kidnapping, a rescue, and a journey that takes them to the foreign hidden villages and beyond. Akatsuki, Conspiracies, Old Grudges, Romance and much much more.
1. No nomination, New Mission

**Aequitas Arbitratus**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. Spoilers here and there, don't blame me if I spoil something for you.

**Summary: **An unexpected decision from Kakashi sends Team 7 on a troubling B-class mission, which leads to an adventure undreamed of by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

**Chapter 1: Non-nomination, new mission**

_"Those who can't put their destinies on the line... who cling to the uncertain future of "There's always next year" and then walk away from their chance... Those pieces of trash who can only make such cowardly choices don't have the right to become chunnin... that's how I feel!"_

**_Morino Ibiki; Volume 5, Chapter 44_**

**Volume 16, Chapter 142**

The Third Hokage, leader of the Hidden Leaf village, gazed over the gathered Jounin teachers. "In one week, will begin the Chunnin Exam. As you all know, the Chunnin Exam will be hosted in our very own Leaf village this year. But first, those watching over the new genin step forward,"

The Third Hokage paused for a moment as the new Genin instructors; Kakashi, Kurenai, and, Asuma stepped forward. Hokage puffed a ring of smoke from his pipe before he spoke.

"Well? Are there any genin you would like to nominate for this exam? As you three already know, but after a genin has properly completed at least eight missions, the team may take the exam if nominated by you. Of course... you are very well aware, completing more missions than that is the norm...he Third nodded to the Jounin teacher on his right. "Asuma, you first."

With an unlit cigar hanging from the corner of his mouth, Sarutobi Asuma stepped forward. "The Asuma-led Team 10: Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Choji. Under the name Sarutobi Asuma, I nominate these three to take the Chunnin Exam."

Incredulous whispers spread through the gathered Jounin-Chunnin teachers. _Rookies in the Chunnin Exam?_

The Third ignored the hushed voices and shifted his gaze to the woman in the middle. "Kurenai?" 

Yuuhi Kurenai, the most recent woman to pass the Hidden Leaf Jounin trials, broke rank and stepped forward. "The Kurenai-lead Team 8: Hyuga Hinata, Aburame Shino, Inuzuka Kiba. Under the name Yuuhi Kurenai; the same decision to my right."

The whispers became even louder murmurs. _Six rookies? Six rookies haven't tested in the Chunnin Exam since- _

The Third audibly cleared his throat calling for silence: the murmurs receded and the Hokage called, "Kakashi?"

"The Kakashi-lead Team 7: Uchiha Sasuke, Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura. Under the name Hatake Kakashi-- I do not recommend these three to take the Chunnin Exam."

Kakashi's face was etched in stoic stone as he stepped back into line. The Third saw a brief flash of emotion, a sense of defeated disappointment, then nothing.

"Very well," Hokage said as he glanced all the instructors. "On the fifth day of next week, all genin teams will report to Tsunade Meeting Hall," he paused and turned his gaze to Ibiki, Captain of Leaf assassination, torture, and interrogation squad #3, and said, "Ibiki, you will be the first instructor and in charge of the written exam,"

Ibiki bowed his head forward, the faint lines of an eager smirk on his lips. "My pleasure, Hokage-sama"

"And the second examiner will be," The Third's gaze glossed over all the instructors, skipping over every single nin until he reached- "Anko, you will be the 2nd examiner. Restrictions and Rules will be set and decided by you."

Anko bowed her head much in the same way as Ibiki, however she did not share his mirth. Her expression looked very much against proctoring the 2nd exam, but she held her tongue. "As you wish, Hokage-sama."

Kakashi inched a step forward; his hand reaching inside his pocket to grab something, but he stopped short and instead, withdrew an empty hand. He held his place in line.

"Now, everyone with graduated genin three years and before, step forward. Gai, you first..."

**

Sakura was very irritated.

Kakashi was late, again.

Every morning it was the same. Kakashi would send them an urgent message to meet at the bridge; a life or death emergency, a special mission, or something else equally as dire to get them to drop whatever they were doing and come as soon as possible. Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto would promptly appear at the bridge, only to find Kakashi markedly absent. Then an hour or two later, he would appear.

Sakura finally exploded. "WHY, WHY, WHY does Kakshi-sensei call us out and then always make us wait?"

Naruto nodded frantically along, heartily agreeing. "I don't know, but damn him!" He said, egging Sakura on.

"And just look at my hair!" Sakura whined: baring the split ends half an inch from Naruto's face. "I overslept and couldn't finish blow drying it!"

"What about me, huh? I overslept too! I wasn't able to change my underwear and brush my teeth!"

Sakura shuddered and stumbled back. Looking at him, her face soured. "That's just disgusting, Naruto. Is that why you always smell?"

Naruto looked at Sakura with a puzzled expression. "Huh?" He said as he lifted his arm and sniffed his armpit. "I don't smell--"

Naruto was interrupted as a soft pop and hiss of smoke from the top of the bridge's archway signaled the arrival of their habitually late teacher. Squatting on the third arc of the bridge, Kakashi grinned impishly at them. "Good Morning everyone," he said amiably. Kakashi's eyes (or eye) blinked up at the high rise of the sun. He looked back down with an even wider smile. "Or should I say, good afternoon?"

"You're late!" Sakura and Naruto both yelled.

"And I'm hungry!" Naruto's stomach grumbled in agreement.

"You'll buy some ramen later, but now--" Kakashi disappeared from the archway with a pop: appearing on the bridge a moment later. He withdrew three slips of paper and handed one to each. "I have a special, extra dangerous, extra difficult C-rank mission for you."

As soon as Naruto heard C-rank, he began to jump around enthusiastically, ignoring the slip of paper completely.

"What are we doing, what are we doing?" Naruto asked enthusiastically while throwing a flurry of kick-punch combos into the air; close fisting the mission paper in the process. "Beat up a group of mountain bandits? Put a few uppity Samurai back in their place?"

Naruto stopped hitting air when he saw the color drain from Sakura's face: even Sasuke's expression was screwed up in concentration. "The mission can't be that bad-- can it?" Naruto uncrumpled the paper in his fist and looked over it very carefully, his eyes widening to the size of saucers when he reached the end.

"Wha-- wha-- what the hell is this!" Naruto exclaimed incredulously. He crumpled the paper and tossed the paper wad toward Sasuke's forehead. Naruto looked up at Kakashi. "_Teachers? For our newest mission, we have to become teachers?"_

Before Kakashi could respond-- "But, Kakashi-sensei..." Sakura said hesitantly, "Are we even qualified to be teachers? I thought only Chunnins like Iruka-sensei, or even Jounins-- like you, could teach at the academy."

"No, no, no." Kakashi said slowly, shaking his head. "As a matter of fact, the Third Hokage never said, nor has there been any written rule that expressively forbids genins-- even rookie level genins like yourselves, from teaching at the academy. It's just very much frowned upon-- that's all. But if the prospect of teaching is _too_ difficult, I could always get you an easier; second rate D-mission… I remember seeing a search and recovery mission: old lady Mina lost her dog in Akagahara..."

"Perhaps that would be for the best--" started Sakura, before Naruto clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Haha-- Don't listen to her, Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto, trying to keep Sakura reservations about the mission gagged. Naruto smiled smugly at Kakashi. "Team 7 will be happy to take the mission. Konoha's number one ninja, Uzumaki Naruto, is on board!"

"Good to know." Kakashi looked slightly amused. "We'll meet at the Academy in two hours. Bye everyone, and remember-- don't be late!"

Naruto blinked and a second later, Kakashi was gone: vanished in a cloud of smoke.

Naruto wasn't paying much attention to Kakashi's departure; Sakura's fidgeting doubled, determined to wriggle herself out of Naruto's grip. As Naruto tried to keep a firm grip over Sakura's mouth and waist, the hand grasping Sakura's waist slipped and accidentally touched over Sakura's chest...

Both froze for a second: Naruto, horrified at what he was touching and the fact that his hand seemed frozen in place... Sakura, because Naruto of all people was touching her _there_.

Naruto's hand was still gagging Sakura's mouth, but he could swear he heard her grumble-- _Naruto, __I'm going to kill you. _

**

_Note: How'd you like it? Whelps, this fic isn't as comedic as my other one, but I try my best to give comedic parts. Note to my other fic, An Admirer's Gifts, I will finish it! I currently have the third chapter quite a ways along, just need to get it to the end. Anyhow, please read and review, constructive criticisms is always welcome._

_Huge thanks to my human sounding board **Noisetank13**, who listen to me patiently as I rant and raved about writers block and other non-sensical issues. By the way his fic, **Black Emperor Butterfiles**, is pretty awesome. Please be kind, understanding, and wonderful readers I know you are and read his fic, then review it._


	2. Calm before the storm, Team 7's lunch

**Aequitas Arbitratus**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. Spoilers here and there, don't blame me if I spoil something for you.

**Summary: **An unexpected decision from Kakashi sends Team 7 on a troubling B-class mission, which leads to an adventure undreamed of by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. Before the mission starts can start; Sakura gets pissed, Naruto faints, Kakashi spies, and Sasuke broods.

**Chapter 2: Calm before the storm-- Team 7's lunch**

_"The Akatsuki must be up to something/The team members move in teams of two at all times..."_

**_Jiraiya; _****Volume 16, Chapter 139**

Unbeknownst to Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke, Kakashi reappeared in the woods adjacent to the bridge.

He was observing them; waiting for one of them to detect and break the jutsu he had secretly placed. If any of them were to catch his genjutsu, Kakashi placed his hopes on Sakura. Since the beginning of Team 7's training, she had the most knowledge in genjutsu compared to both Naruto and Sasuke.

Kakashi couldn't help the smile tugging at the ends of his mouth when he saw Sakura reverse Naruto's grip, flip the hapless boy unto his hind side, then vice Naruto's head into a sleeper hold. The pair always fought like this and Sakura always ended up choking Naruto in some fashion. But Sakura seemed especially angry with Naruto today...

"I'm so sorry, Sakura-chan! I didn't mean to, really!" Sakura merely squeezed harder making Naruto's eyes glaze over.  "Sakura-chan, I-I can't... I can't breathe..."

"Naruto..." Sakura said calmly, her eyes flashing, and her tone very very dangerous. "You must never _ever_ handle a lady like that ever again. I wouldn't even care if _that _particular area became covered by blood sucking leeches and you're the only one who can save me from dieing.  If I find you're hand _there _again, I'll personally lop off your arm, and beat you with it. Do you understand, Naruto?"

Naruto opened his mouth, but no words came out.

"Being difficult, eh?" Sakura smiled slighty then tightened her vice grip across Naruto neck. "You will never _ever_ handle a lady like that again-- say it, Naruto!" 

Sasuke jumped in and pointed out, "Sakura, Naruto can't very well talk without air, can he?" he stared at Sakura, calling her an idiot with his eyes. Sakura's eyes blinked, realizing Sasuke was right. "Right then-- let him go, Sakura."

Sakura released Naruto from her lock and dropped his unconscious body to the floor. "Sorry, Sasuke-kun," Sakura said, smiling impishly at him.

All thoughts of Naruto were pushed aside, and Sakura linked her arm around Sasuke's. "So, Sasuke-kun—how about some lunch? We could get a cozy both in the corner of the restaurant. It'll be so--" 

"_No." Sasuke said simply, and then suddenly-- almost violently-- he jerked his arm out of Sakura's grip. "__You're pathetic. If you have some free time, why don't you practice a jutsu or two? Because frankly, right now I think you're even below Naruto."_

"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura whispered, as she watched him walk away. Sakura's face seemed to crumple into little lines of hurt, but as quick as the lines appeared, they disappeared a moment later. 

She let out a long suffering sigh, then turned to Naruto, still unconscious. She looked at him, just looked at him for a good long minute before she finally tried to rouse him. She kneeled down and gently shook his shoulder; calling out to him, "Naruto, wake up. We'll go get some ramen-- my treat, okay? Naruto..."

Instead of waking up, a cheesy grin broke out on Naruto's face. "Sakura-chan-- don't go..." His hands unconsciously snaked around Sakura waist and his head pillowed itself on her lap. "Come back to bed, Sakura-chan..."

 "N-Naruto! W-W-hat-" Sakura stammered out, her face shading a bright red.

The smile on Naruto's face seemed to stretch several breaths wider as he nuzzled his face deeper. He sighed, "Sakura-chan..."

"Naruto-- you, you… _PERVERT_!" Sakura exploded. Her hands went to Naruto wrists and she pulled herself from his grip. Still grasping Naruto, Sakura swung him in several circles before letting go and flinging him off the bridge into the cold water below. 

When Naruto splashed into the water, he awoke with a start. Sakura glared at him from the bridge, her face still bright red with anger and embarrassment. "That's what you get! Hmph!"

Sakura stomped off, while Naruto waded through the river utterly confused of what just happened. 

Kakashi sighed to himself. Perhaps he was within the right to deny Team 7 the chance to take the Chunnin Exam. Even if each of them had the skills and drive individually needed to become a Chunnin, they lacked team cohesion; Sakura always stood behind and almost never fought in battles, Sasuke still refuses to place his trust in his fellow teammates, and Naruto just didn't _think most of the time. _

And as strong as his team was on missions, when off guard, they were still easy prey for simple tricks. 

And if his team had looked carefully, they would have noticed a couple of things. 

One, the mission slips they received was blank; illusionary writing conjured by Kakashi's genjutsu. 

Two, Kakashi lied about the exact details of the mission. Instead of a C rank mission, he had been assigned an important B rank mission. Team 7 would be teaching not only children like Konohamaru and his ilk, but pre-genin who did not receive a Jounin teacher: all the students who had graduated from the academy, yet failed the preliminary tests to be placed in a team in the first place-- children much older than Naruto himself.

Kakashi smiled; perhaps he would run into some of his old would-be teams. After all, he was responsible for sending more than his fair share of rookies back to the academy...

"Oh well," Kakashi shrugged; crumpling then tossing the mission slip over his shoulder. "Next time, they'll learn to be less trusting..."

And as Kakashi walked away, he fingered the folded letter he had received earlier. Todays mission would require the full attention of his entire team for the whole day-- more than enough time to prepare for the difficult tasks ahead of him...

**

Sakura had taken Sasuke's words to heart.

After leaving the bridge, Sakura decided to go home for some lunch (not to mention practice a jutsu or two):  not expecting to instead catch up with Sasuke on her way back. She was about to call out to him: shout his name and get his attention. She imagined he would turn around, flash a charming smile, wave her over, and invite her to have lunch with him. 

But some part of Sakura, the pragmatic side, insisted it would only be a dream. And like all dreams, eventually, they disappear. Sasuke would never show her such open affection.

Concealed behind some bushes, she watched as Sasuke walked inside the building; a newly opened Wave Country styled restaurant. Pushing down the rash, and thoroughly embarrassing impulse to march inside the restaurant and join him: Sakura thought best to just avoid Sasuke and eat lunch at home instead. Well, not completely alone. Her bratty little sister would be home for her lunch break...    

Sakura sighed unhappily as she lifted herself from her crouched position. She just couldn't understand Sasuke. When Sakura thought she had him figured out, he was do or say something to completely throw her off. Did he like her? Did he even _tolerate her?_

The only thing that really consoled her as she continued on her way home was the thought that Sasuke did in fact care about her. They almost kissed after graduation, but most importantly, he had _wanted_ to kiss her. And for the briefest moments during the wave country mission, after he had miraculously shrugged off Haku's needle wounds, Sasuke didn't flinch or push away when she hugged him. 

Sakura broke out into a light jog, her growling stomach prodding her to get home; and to food, much faster.

She wasn't particularly looking where she was going, just involved in her worries and thoughts, so it wasn't surprising that she plunged body-first into another person as they both rounded a corner from opposite directions. Sakura let out a grunt of surprise, the force of the encounter sending her sprawling. The other girl staggered back and fell, crying out as her hind side scrapped on the dirt-rock road.

"Ow," the girl muttered, slowly pulling herself to her feet.

"Oh, I'm so sor--" Sakura began, but stopped as she lifted her head and saw who had slammed into her in the first place. "Ume!" Sakura said irritably. "Next time, watch where you're going!"

"Wha? Who?" Ume said, as she blew away the stray strands of pink hair that fell across her face. Her eyes narrowed at Sakura. "Oh, it figures I'd run into _you_."

Sakura rubbed her sore underside, wincing when her fingers touched what was probably now a bruise. "Ow!" she cried, touching the bruised spot a little too hard. "Look what you did to me!" Sakura yelled. "You klutz!"

Ume rolled her eyes, "Better a klutz than an airhead like you." She said, then raised her voice a few octaves to do a fallseto imitation of Sakura. "My name is Sakura, I have _such_ a big forehead, I can't think of anything besides Sasuke-kun: Sasuke-kun _loves _me-- Sasuke-kun _hates _me." Ume simpered mockingly. "Sasuke-kun, can you marry me? I want to have your babies." Ume pretended to gag; almost as if the words she had just spoken were poison.

"You little brat, I'm going to--" Sakura had half the mind to pull out her kunai and tear her little sister a new one, but put down the thought immediately. Mother wouldn't be very happy if any harm came to her precious Ume. Sakura gritted her teeth forcibly. "So... Ume, what are you doing out so early? Ohh, you better not be cutting class again--"

"I'm not cutting class!" Ume said defensively.

"--Cause you remember what Mom said, right Ume? Next time she caught you cutting class-- or sneaking out, whichever. She _will_ pull you out of the academy and teach you herself. And you know Mom will do it too. You saw how angry she got the last time you were caught skipping..."

"Will you just shut up and listen?" Ume said, exasperated. "I am not cutting class! Raido-sensei let us out to lunch early, something about preparing for a special instruction in the afternoon."

Sakura's ear perked. "Special instruction? Really?" She asked, curiously. "What kind of special instruction? Did your sensei say anything specific about what you would be doing?"

 "How should I know, Sakura? Raido-sensei wasn't exactly giving with specifics. He just said it in his usual stupid way. You know, half amused and half sarcastic. Well... mostly sarcastic." Ume breathed in, and lowered her voice to imitate her sensei. _"After you come back from your lunch break, I prepared for what I hope to be a very fun and very special event. I can't tell you much of anything, but before you come back to class, bring any technique scrolls you are even mildly curious about: taijustsu, genjutsu, ninjutsu, anything. Trust me when I say this, today is going to be a very interesting day."_ Ume coughed and her voice reverted to normal. "Okay, maybe I paraphrased a little bit, and probably wasn't as sarcastic as Raido-sensei, but that's more or less the jist of what was said." Ume looked at Sakura curiously. "Why would you want to know, anyway?"

Sakura groaned inwardly. Of all the academy student classes Team #7 was going to teach, figures Kakashi would assign them the class that had her little brat of a sister. If Kakashi acted any crueler, he would have assigned them the class with all of Ino's younger brothers and sisters.

Lost in her troubled thoughts about the Team #7's latest mission, Sakura didn't notice a pair of hands waving in front of her face. "Hello, Sakura?" Ume called out multiple times, while snapping her fingers and clapping her hands; anything to get Sakura's attention. Not working, Ume huffed in exasperation. "You know what? I think you can get home yourself. And I'm not going to waste my precious break time waiting for an _absolute_ airhead like you to come to your senses and finally pull your head out of your ass. It's no wonder why Sasuke doesn't like you." Ume walked away, a quick hitch in her step to put some distance between them.

A full minute later, Ume's comment finally sunk into Sakura. Flushed red and furious, Sakura broke out into a dead run, fully wishing to catch up and body slam her sister into the nearest wall.

**

"Welcome to Waves. My name is Nanami; I'll be your waitress today. Would you like anything to drink?"

Sasuke looked over the menu, then up at the pleasant waitress waiting for his order. "Large glass of Fruit Juice."

She scratched the order on her paper pad. "And are you ready to order your main course, or do you need some a little more time?"

 "I'll order now, thanks." Sasuke said, closing the menu and handing it out to Nanami. "I'll get number 20; the Vegetarian Kabobs."

"A number twenty... anything else-- no? Okay," she flipped her order pad shut, then slipped it into the side pocket of her smock. She took the menu and slipped it under her arm and body. "You're food will be out in five to ten minutes. Call me if you need anything else. And thanks for eating at Waves." A quick smile, and she was gone.

Already, without even tasting the food, Sasuke listed Waves as his new favorite restaurant. If he were to eat at any other place in Konoha—restaurant or not—he always attracted very unwanted attention; turning heads of all ages, male or female, rich or poor. Sometimes he would see groups of brain dead girls who would always tell him how handsome, or how great a ninja he was: he could careless about them. They didn't really see him for what he was, they didn't understand him, nobody did. 

But almost anywhere else people would whisper and gossip; _Is that the Uchiha boy? – He's the only one left, isn't he? – Do you think he's anything like Itachi? _Sometimes Sasuke didn't bother finishing his food, preferring to instead leave on an empty stomach rather than be gossiped about right in front of his face. But no one would recognize, much less gossip about him at this restaurant.

The ceiling lights were dim enough as not to be easily spotted, and the booth walls were high enough to give customers privacy. If he ducked his seat and slid forward a little, no one would see him as they walked by and because the restaurant staff was entirely composed of a family from the now free Wave Country, none of them recognized his face. At Waves, he was just another regular paying customer.

And like any regular customer, he wondered why the hell his food was taking so long.

As Sasuke turned a glance toward the kitchen doors, his gaze inexplicitly drew toward two figures sitting in a corner booth. Both wore large basket shaped straw hats, and the same cloud embroidered kimono that cinched up a little past mouth level. Sasuke had an uneasy feeling about the two, especially the one figure who was sitting so only the backside was shown.  He felt this feeling from somewhere long ago; an, odd, dull ache anchored in the pit of stomach. The backside figure had familiar black hair peeking out from under the hat and was a guy as far as Sasuke could tell.

Before he could scrutinize the pair even further, the waitress girl serving him earlier stepped out: walking toward him with a circular tray balanced on one hand.  With her free right hand, she grabbed the plate and glass from the tray and set them in front of Sasuke.

"Fruit Juice and Veggie Kabob platter-- Enjoy."

Sasuke picked up the kabob stick ends and held it up to his nose, whiffing in the smell. His stomach growled and his head felt faint. Hungrier than he earlier thought, Sasuke didn't hesitate to open his mouth wide to take in the most amount of vegetable chunks as possible. But before he could even taste a morsel of food, the waitress girl Nanami appeared again.

"Sorry for disturbing your meal, but we at Waves have a special deal for first time customers." She reached into the smock side pocket, withdrawing a purple shaded glass bottle. "For first time diners at Waves, we are offering a free sample of Lilith Syrup Extract to be added into your fruit drink. It is guaranteed to give it a delicious kick. Did I mention it's free?"

Sasuke looked skeptically at the purple shaded bottle. "And tell me, what exactly is Lilith Extract?"

"Glad you asked," said Nanami, grinning at Sasuke. "Lilith Syrup Extract is liquid extracted from boiled essence of the Lilith Leaf, or is it liquid extracted from the caramelized Lilith?" she said absent-mindedly, then shook her head. "I don't know how it is exactly made, but anyway, Lilith Leaf is indigenous to Apoji, a small cluster of islands southeast of Wave Country's mainland. They've been pretty much off limits for years, thanks to that dick, Gatou." Nanami coughed. "May his soul burn in hell. Anyway..." Nanami grinned, "the Apoji islands are now open to commercial traders. Oh, and if you are worried about health issues, the Lilith Syrup Extract has been passed and approved by Wave Country's Medical Committee for consumption." She turned the bottle so the approval label was showing. "So, what do you say? Would you like a free sample? I guarantee you won't regret it."

Sasuke looked between Nanami's reassuring smile and the rather shady bottle in her hand trying to decide if a free drink add-on was worth the slight possibility of massive diarrhea. Sasuke sipped the fruit drink: not bad, only adequate. He looked back at the oddly colored purplish bottle and against his better judgment, shrugged his shoulders and said, "Why not?"

"Oh lovely!" said Nanami as she poured. "You'll love it, trust me."  

Sasuke watched as the Lilith Extract liquid mixed inside the glass, the dark green extract swirling with the red-orange fruit drink turning it into a light olive shade. But not only did the color change, but the fruit drink seemed to turn into a type of a fruit smoothie. He eyeballed the drink-smoothie, unable to keep down thoughts of how _sludge_ like it looked.

"Go ahead," Nanami said, motioning with her hands encouragingly. "Bottoms up."

Sasuke brought the drink under his nose, and smelled; it was odorless. He couldn't decide if odorless was a good or bad thing. Good that the drink, even though it looked like sludge, didn't smell like sludge. Bad that he had no idea was he was drinking. He tipped the drink back and swallowed. A faint frission of something shuddered through Sasuke followed by a light, happy, dreamy feeling in his head. Sasuke tipped the smoothie back again, taking another sip.

"Good, huh?" Nanami said while grinning at Sasuke's obvious approval of the drink.

"Yeah, not bad." Sasuke said offhandedly, but still draining half the drink in a few gulps. "Pretty good, actually. Much better than your regular fruit juice at any rate."

For some reason known only to Nanami, her amused grin grew a breath wider. "Well, I'll be around. Just call me if you need anything else, okay?"

"Right," said Sasuke, already biting into his kabob. "Will do."

Sasuke ate in relative peace and quiet after Nanami had left. He felt tempted to call her over and order another fruit drink/smoothie, but decided no more drinks. Before biting into his last kabob, he looked up toward the hanging wall clock; the mission was going to start soon. After gorging the final kabob and downing whatever was left of the smoothie, he called for Nanami.

She appeared a second later. "Yes?"

"Check," and after a second thought, "what the hell, another lilith fruit drink to go!"

Nanami happily brought back the check and the smoothie in a plastic cup container. She handed him the check, then the plastic cup. "Here's your check, and here's the drink. Enjoy!"

Sasuke paid the bill and left a hefty tip for Nanami. Standing up, he cast a glance to the corner of the room; the two figures were still seated, but were different somehow. Maybe it was the food, but the pair didn't make his as uneasy as they did before. They still felt odd, but the dull ache he felt earlier was gone. Sasuke shook off the feeling, attributing it to his hunger and nothing more.

**

This chapter is kind just scenes and set up, I hope you enjoyed it! Yep you did just meet Sakura's younger sibling, a character inspired by a combination of Ino + inner Sakura + Naruto.

Next chapter, Naruto meets up sand-genin three, or more accurately sand-genin two. I hope the angst/introspection parts weren't too boring...  Exciting fights next chapter, Naruto fights an unexpected trio of Leaf Nin's and Naruto battles Temari, stay tuned!

**Cyber1:** Yes, I also wonder why Kakashi wouldn't want them to take the exam... :D **KawaiiKenshin: **Here's some more of my stuff, hope you enjoy. **Dan Inverse: **This chapter is mostly just setup. More "interesting" action scenes next chapter. **Miya: **Thanks for the encouraging review.


	3. Standing Between Leaves and Sand

**Aequitas Arbitratus**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto. Spoilers here and there, don't blame me if I spoil something for you.

**Summary: **What if Team 7 didn't make the cut for the chunnin exam? An unexpected decision from Kakashi sends Team 7 on a troubling B-class mission, which leads to an adventure undreamed of by Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura. While the Sand-Sound move against the Leafs, the other villages are hardly idle themselves...

**Chapter 3: Standing between Leaves and Sand**

_"In this world there exists kids younger than you... yet stronger than me."_

**_Hatake Kakashi; Volume 2, Chapter 08_**

After the bridge incident with Sakura, Naruto had taken off his still soaked jacket and draped it over his shoulder as he walked home. 

The whole incident wasn't completely his fault. If Sakura just stayed still and not fidget, his hand never would have ended up _there_. In fact, it was technically all Sakura's fault. Because she had decided to be so difficult-- not that he would tell her that; else he wanted to suffer another beating.

Naruto recalled all his memories of Sakura. And every single time, (minus one or two rare moments) she always ended up beating, screaming, teasing, or criticizing him in some way shape or form. 

In fact, Sakura always criticized him; too loud, too brash, too annoying, too stupid…

For a second, Naruto wondered if he acted differently-- more like Sasuke; less talkative, more introverted, infinitely more arrogant… then maybe Sakura would like him more. Maybe she would give him even a tiny portion of affection that she always showered Sasuke…

Naruto shook his head. Who was he kidding? If he acted like that, Sakura wouldn't magically like him more, she would just flat out ignore him.

"Hmph," Naruto kicked a roadside pebble, sending it flying at a section of wood fencing a little ahead. Instead of bouncing off, the little pebble seemed to _collapse _the fencing, almost as if the wood itself was made of cloth…

"Oi, Konohamaru!" yelled Naruto; a little impressed that Konohamaru was hiding himself so well. "I know it's you! Time to come out!"

Naruto patiently waited for Konohamaru remove the hiding sheet and reveal himself, but when it seemed Konohamaru seemed intent on playing possum, Naruto dropped his jacket and used his left hand to pick up a handful of pebbles from the side of the road.

"Oi, Konohamaru! You better move your ass cause I'm not playing around anymore!" Naruto squinted his eyes, trying to pinpoint Konohamaru's exact position.

Although the hiding cloth enables Konohamaru to disguise himself against a background, the cloth wasn't perfect. He has to have a steady grip on the sheet; else he gives himself away by shaking.

"Ha!" Naruto saw the little shake, and immediately threw a stone. He chuckled lightly when he saw a small patch of the fence shift to the left.

"Faster, Konohamaru! Faster!" Naruto threw a volley of pebbles, laughing hysterically as he saw Konohamaru, or at least the cloth-patch hiding Konohamaru, frantically dodging in every other possible direction.

Underneath the laughter, Naruto was really impressed now; all of the pebbles had missed Konohamaru's actual body. Although most of the pebbles did hit the cloth, Konohamaru escaping bodily harm was still very impressive.

Naruto changed hands and switched the last dozen or so pebbles from his left to his right more dominant hand. Some ninjas like Sakura are more adept throwing with the left hand than the right.  While others like Sasuke are equally skillful with both.

With unflinching focus and concentration, Naruto threw the pebbles in a spread pattern. With the added strength of his right hand, Naruto saw several of the pebbles hit the center section of the cloth where Konohamaru was supposedly hiding.

"Ow!" Konohamaru cried out.

The cloth hiding Konohamaru fell to the dirt road. His hands, which were supposed to be holding the hiding-cloth up in the first place, were instead busy rubbing the areas where the pebbles struck earlier (the right ass cheek).

Konohamaru looked up menacingly. "If you knew it was me, why the hell did you throw so hard for, huh, Bro!"

"I didn't throw hard, idiot!"

"Didn't throw so hard my foot! Just look at what you did to my ass, Bro! It looks like a swollen piece of rotten fruit now!" To emphasize the point, Konohamaru turned around and pulled down his pants far enough to get a glimpse of his right butt check; now painted a bruised bluish purple.

"Konohamaru!" Naruto looked at the bruise dumbstruck. "It's… It's… It's blue!"

Konohamaru threw a stone with one hand (clearly aimed at Naruto's head) and hiked up his pants with the other. "I know its blue, you dumbass! I'm not blind!" 

"But it's a really really dark blue!" Naruto craned his neck sideways, avoiding the stone and without skipping a beat said, "almost purple even!"

"I know-- Ow!" Konohamaru yelped in pain caused by the slightest of touches to his underside. He fixed Naruto with a stare. "Did you really have to take it so seriously?" 

"I didn't take it seriously," Naruto said. "Because if I did," He struggled to point a steady hand at Konohamaru's hind quarters, "_both _your ass cheeks would be purple and blue. Consider yourself lucky. At least you can still sit on the toilet. Well… not on the right cheek of course, but maybe if you leaned a little to the left on your good side--"

"Shut up!" Konohamaru yelled. "That's not funny, bro!"

"What are you talking about, blue cheek?" Naruto grinned. "It is _very_ funny."

"I'll get you back for this," he scowled. "Payback's a bitch." 

Konohamaru's hands started on a familiar sequence of seals, but before finishing Naruto yelled out--

"And what're you gonna do, huh? Use my Sexy no Jutsu?" said Naruto, amused. "You know it wouldn't work on me. The Sexy no Jutsu only works on idiots like that closet pervert of a sensei you have."

"Really?" A sly smile tugged at Konohamaru's mouth. "Only perverts?" Konohamaru stopped in mid-seal and reached into his side pack pocket…

Naruto drew his kunai reflexively. "I'm only joking Konohamaru!" Naruto tried to laugh disarmingly, stopping at the serious expression etched in Konohamaru's face. "You're not serious about _really _fighting me with a weapon, are you?"

Instead, of a steel kunai, Konohamaru withdrew a small ball.  "I don't need a kunai for you, bro! Hand-to-Hand taijutsu and _this--_" Konohamaru held the ball opened palmed, letting Naruto have a good glance. "—is all I need."

Konohamaru threw down the smoke ball next to his feet. Hitting the floor with a dull clank, it exploded and a cloud of thick gray smoke enveloped him. Konohamaru concentrated his chakra and restarted the sequence of seals he abandoned earlier.

Naruto lost sight of Konohamaru's small body as the smoke thickened and spread. Trusting Konohamaru's promise not to fight with his kunai, Naruto slipped his own weapon back into its holster.

Naruto braced for an attack, but nothing came. No jutsu, no thrown shuriken or stone. Nothing.

Suddenly, he heard Konohamaru's voice echo out from behind the cloud of smoke, "Konohamaru Version: Sexy no Jutsu! Henge!"

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" yelled Naruto, setting himself into a clumsy fighting stance as he saw a gray outline of a body begin to emerge from the cloud of smoke. "Sexy no Jutsu will not work on me!"

How stupid and wrong he was.

"Naruto…" called a loftily feminine and very familiar voice.

Naruto eyes widened as his mind placed its owner: Haruno Sakura. For a second, Naruto stood helplessly frozen as he saw Sexy no Jutsu version of Sakura charge out from the smoke, her fist raised and ready to attack.

Konohamaru/Sakura closed the distance exceptionally fast, quickly coming within striking distance of Naruto's face.

_That's not Sakura-chan…_

Although visibly stunned by Konohamaru's special version of the Sexy no Jutsu (Naruto struggled to keep his gaze above neck level), he threw off the initial shock and poised himself to catch Konohamaru/Sakura's punch and then position himself to counter.

Grasping for Konohamaru/Sakura's wrist, Naruto stumbled a step when his hands grasped thin air, and instead of colliding with a body, he fell through almost as if their was nothing there…

 "Shit!" Naruto cursed as he vainly tried to regain his balance. "A buushin!"

Naruto recovered his step a moment later. His eyes frantically scanned around trying to find the real Konohamaru. "Damn it!" Naruto hissed. "Where'd he go?"

Naruto eyes glanced up and found Konohamaru/Sakura falling toward him fist first in an attack. Naruto grinned as he jumped up to intercept. He had Konohamaru now and would properly show him what happens to those who challenged Uzumaki Naruto. Although…

Naruto gave credit where it was due; Konohamaru had improved by leaps and bounds. He would never admit it out loud, but Konohamaru had become quicker, faster, and grasped the concepts of chakra control and jutsu technique much better than most academy students had at that age. If Konohamaru continued training and improving as he did, he would be ready for graduation next year.

Grandson of the Third Hokage, indeed.

"I have you now, Konohamaru!" cried Naruto gleefully, his fist ramming itself into Konohamaru/Sakura's face in midair.

But something was wrong.

Naruto's brow furrowed; the _feel_ of Konohamaru was off. Instead of the familiar feeling of flesh against fist, Naruto connected with something sturdy and solid, making a loud thunk instead of the sounding crack of breaking bones.

Konohamaru's body crumbled into ashy dust and smoke, revealing in its place a log with rope looped around the bottom. 

_Kawamiri! When did he-- _

Naruto's thoughts were short lived. Konohamaru, the real Konohamaru (not Sexy no Jutsu Sakura) appeared behind Naruto (still in midair) and wrapped his legs constrictively around Naruto's stomach.  Konohamaru then used his leverage and applied a tight shoulder-arm lock on the upper portions of Naruto's body.

"Wrong, bro." Naruto could almost hear Konohamaru smirk. "I have _you_ now. Udon! Moegi! Do it!"

The next few moments were a blur.

A girl and another boy, both the same age as Konohamaru, appeared on Naruto's flanks. Their faces were focused and their hands starting the seals for a jutsu.

The boy, Udon, finished his jutsu first. "Combo attack! Rope Untie no Jutsu!"

The rope, previously looped around the kawamiri log, unraveled itself and shifted closer to Naruto's body.

The girl, Moegi, finished her jutsu a moment later. "Rope Tie no Jutsu!"

Looking like a snake being instructed by a snake charmer, the rope darted to and fro: tightly wrapping and binding together Naruto's legs.

Naruto and Konohamaru struggled in mid-air. And as they careened toward the beaten dirt path (both head first), Konohamaru released his shoulder-arm lock and jumped safely away a moment before Naruto crashed down.

The force of the crash kicked up dust into the air, clouding the vision of everyone nearby. A little shaken from the fall, but still okay, Naruto quickly concentrated his chakra and did a quick jutsu—finishing the final seal as Konohamaru, Udon, and Moegi surrounded him.

"It's over, bro! You lose!" Konohamaru yelled in mid-jutsu. "Ninpou-- _what_?"

Naruto's jutsu-- Kage Buushin no Jutsu, was a complete success. Thanks to the thick dust, his shadows clones were able to conceal and lay an ambush. Before Konohamaru could complete his jutsu, all three of the newly created Naruto shadow clones sprung into action and applied the same shoulder-arm look on Konohamaru's group.

Genuine Naruto nodded in thanks at each of his three shadow clones then using a kunai; cut through his rope bonds with deliberate, leisurely movements. 

Naruto stood up and smiled. "You didn't think you were going to beat _me_, did you, Konohamaru?"

"But I was beating you!" Konohamaru insisted. "I almost--"

"That's right, Konohamaru. You _almost--_" interrupted Naruto's first clone. "And almost doesn't cut it in a real ninja fight."

"Besides," laughed Naruto's second clone. "You didn't almost beat me, Konohamaru. You never even came close."

"I was only playing with you," Naruto's third clone gloated. "I only let you get so close so I could test how strong you've gotten. And if I'd wanted to, I could've taken you down the second you said Henge."

"Liar!" yelled Konohamaru. He kicked backwards, his foot connecting solidly with Clone Naruto's groin area. 

Naruto gasped in pain. He released Konohamaru by sheer necessity, before disappearing with an audible pop.

As soon as Konohamaru's feet touched the ground, he ran away as fast as his little feet could take him. He glanced over his shoulder to see if he was being chased, not looking as he collided with a female nin. Konohamaru fell from the impact, but the girl looked hardly fazed.

The female nin wore a white suit and on her back hung a large furled fan. Next to her stood an all black-hooded guy with ugly red white face paint wearing what looked to be a bandage wrapped, black hair mummy-thing on his back. They both wore head protectors bearing the emblem of Hidden Sand.

"Oh? What do we have here?" said the guy as he grabbed the collar of Konohamaru's shirt and lifted him into the air. "Looks like a little leaf midget to me. What do you think, Temari?"

"Looks like a filthy half-midget who dirtied my clothes, that's what." said Temari, dusting off the sweat, dirt and dust. She glared at Konohamaru. "I should make you clean this mess with your tongue, brat."

"Bitch…" Konohamaru wheezed.

The guy punched Konohamaru in the gut.  "Learn some respect, midget."

Naruto's clones had released both of Konohamaru's friends. All of them were now looking at Konohamaru unconscious form in concern.

"Hey!" yelled Naruto. "Let go of him, you retarded clown! If you hurt him anymore, I'll personally rearrange your ugly face with my kunai."

 Temari snorted with laughter. "Wouldn't make much of a difference--" she added.

"Shut up!" The guy yelled to Temari.

"What?" said Temari, "It was funny. I laughed. Hey, don't look at me like that. I'm not the one who called you a retarded clown." She pointed a finger at Naruto. "That guy did."

"Oh yeah…" The guy narrowed his eyes at Naruto. "Arrogant little piss prick, I'll show you…" Make-up face unsnapped the straps holding the bandaged mummy thing. 

"Kankuro…" said Temari, warningly.

"_What?_" Kankuro snapped back. "He insulted me, Temari. Just can't let pip-squeak over there get away with it."

"Fine." Temari said grudgingly. She pointed a finger at the bandaged thing. "But you can't use Karasu, got it?"

"Why don't you just bind my hands and forbid me to use jutsus while you're at it?"

"No Karasu." Temari's stated, her eyes narrowing. "Clear?"

"Crystal." Kankuro said, tossing Konohamaru at Temari, who caught the tossed boy with the narrow end of her fan, hanging him like one would a coat. "Oh and no critical injuries, Kankuro. Don't want to get in trouble with Baki-sensei, after all."

"You're such a kill joy, Temari."

"Oh okay, you can hit him below the belt once, but that's all."

"Temari…"

"Fine then, twice. Happy now?"

"Now that's the sister I know and love."

"But two hits below the belt… you know he'll go down after one."

"The second is so I can kick him when he's on the floor."

"How stupid of me." Temari rolled her eyes. "I should've known."

"Yeah, you should've. You know, you're a bit slow today--"

"Damn it! Don't ignore me! I hate it when people talk as if I wasn't here!" Naruto yelled, charging at Kankuro from front while his shadow clones came in from two different sides.

Kankuro flicked his fingers, forming three ropes of chakra, and wrapped them around the ankles of Naruto and his clones. Kankuro gave all three ropes a jerk, then smirked proudly when all three blonde boys fell to the floor.

"Worthless…" commented Temari.

Kankuro tightened the chakra noose, and using a nearby tree branch as a brace, he lynched Naruto, hanging him upside down from the ankles.

Kankuro laughed at his handiwork. "Maybe we should let Gaara toy around with these four for a little bit. He's been a bit restless ever since we left Sand Village."

"Speaking of Gaara," Temari glanced around. "Where is he?"

"Huh?" Kankuro said, forgetting about Naruto-- whose chakra rope disappeared, sending him falling head first to the ground. Kankuro turned to Temari.  "What do you mean, 'w_here is he?_' I thought you were keeping an eye on him!"

"_Me?_" Temari pointed an accusatory finger at Kankuro. "It's _your_ turn to keep track of Gaara! Remember the little incident in that border village before getting to Fire Country? Who was it that stopped our little brother from slaughtering those little children in the park? Oh that's right, me!"

A resigned, knowing expression settled on Kankuro's face. "Damn it, you're right. It is my turn."

"Dumbass," said Temari. "Now stop messing with the Leaf brat and go! Find our little brother before he does anything stupid. We'll meet up later."

"You're not going to come?"

"Nah. The blond boy is kind of amusing. I think I'm going to say for a little bit and entertain myself."

"Oh, little Temari has a crush on a little leaf genin. How cute."

"Shut up and just go!" said Temari, her face reddening. "I mean, you _know_ Gaara's condition-- homicidal rage and all. With every second that ticks by, he comes that much closer to losing it."

"What a lovely shade of red you're turning, sister. But you know-- there's no need to be embarrassed. I'm kind of happy you're finally noticing guys. I was beginning to think you were a lesbian-- not that there's anything wrong with being a lesbian, of course…"

Temari threw a kunai past Kankuro's head. "Next time, I draw blood."

"My god, no need to be so defensive, Temari. I swear-- you're getting worse everyday. Ever since you hit puberty and had your monthly--" Kankuro dodged a flurry of thrown kunais and shurikens.

"Damn it, Kankuro! Just go!"

"I give. I give. I'll leave you to your stupid play things…"

Kankuro disappeared in a swirl of sand; leaving Temari with the four leafs. She turned toward the blond boy and saw he was already back on his feet. He was looking quite murderous and the little kids near him looked equally furious.

"Hey, brat, what's your name?"

"Who the hell are you talking to - them?" said Naruto, waving his hands at Udon and Moegi. "Or are you talking to me?"

"No, I'm talking to the little midget next to you with snot coming out of his nose," said Temari, slightly irritated. "Of course I'm talking to you, dumbass."

"The name isn't dumbass, or midget, or any other dumb nickname you have in that little head of yours." Naruto said indignantly. "It's Uzumaki Naruto! And you better remember it, cause I'm going to be the future Hokage!"

"You? Hokage?" Temari snorted a laugh. "Aren't you just the cutest little thing? You sound just like those naive six-year-old academy students who blubber on and on about growing up to be as powerful as one of the Mists Seven Swordsmen or the Leaf's Legendary Three. Wanting to be Hokage… it's a cute dream, don't get me wrong, Naruto. But you have to accept it for what it is-- a dream. "

"Shut up, Temari," said Naruto, his shoulders shaking slightly. "Just shut the hell up!"

"Oh, strike a nerve did I?" Temari smirked. "You have to be realistic… And as much as I hate to admit it, Leaf is the largest and perhaps strongest of all the other hidden nin villages.  If you want to be the Kage of _this _country, you need to be the best. Better than the most talented genins you're village has to offer. Are you that talented? Are you that strong?" Temari looked at him pointedly. "No, I didn't think so. Judging from your fight with my brother, you're one of the weaker leaf genins, aren't you?"

Naruto furiously shook his head. "Wrong! I'm Leaf's number one genin--"

 "God help your village if that's true."

"I told you to shut up!" he yelled. "I wasn't going to do anything, since you're a girl-- an ugly girl, but a girl nonetheless. But now, I don't care. I'm going to kick your ass!"

Naruto made a beeline toward Temari, his hands quickly doing the seals for the Kage Buushin.

Temari tossed the limp body of Konohamaru to the side. She observed Naruto mid-jutsu and laughed thinking he using the basic Buushin. "Don't make me laugh! A regular buushi--"

"Kage Buushin no Jutsu!"

Temari stood thunderstruck for a moment; long enough for Naruto and his ten clones to close in.

Five of Naruto's shadow clones threw shurikens pinning her down, while the other five, plus real Naruto, jumped into the air. 

"One more time!" yelled Genuine Naruto, mid-air and quickly falling toward Temari. "Kage Buushin no Jutsu!"

Ten more shadow clones appeared, five of which began to throw shurikens from up high while real Naruto used the back of one shadow clone as a human spring board to maneuver himself and his four-remaning shadow clones all around Temari. 

Meanwhile, Temari unfurled her fan and blocked the first wave of shurikens. She channeled her chakra through her hands and into her weapon. "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!" she yelled, focusing her blast to deal the greatest possible damage to all five to her front. Half strength Kamaitachi would be enough to deal with his shadow clones, but Temari put extra chakra into the attack just in case the real Naruto was enough of a coward to stay behind.

All five Naruto's to her front disappeared with a pop.

She turned her fan upward in time to stop the rain of shurikens and kunai from above. Then using a vertical Kamaitachi, she blasted apart the ten shadow clones in the air. With a quick eye, she glanced around and saw that a total of five Naruto's had her completely surrounded. Her fan was big, but even with Kamaitachi, she could not stop shurikens from every direction.

"Damn it!" she cursed, her mind racing for a way out.

She looked to her right and saw Naruto's friend, Konohamaru, a little ways off. Improvising a strategy, she pulled out a smoke bomb with her free hand and ignited it.

Naruto and his clones were about to unload shurikens into the smoke cloud, before Temari, seemingly sensing what he was going to do, yelled out, "Don't be an idiot. If you start throwing now, you'd more than likely get me, but there's also a good chance you might cut up your little friend as well. You don't want to take that chance, do you?" 

Naruto grit his teeth. "Coward!" he spat. "Are Sand genin so pathetic they have to hide behind little kids?" 

"It's not like I'm holding the kid hostage, cause I'm not; we just happen to be in the same area, that's all. Lucky Coincidence."

"Lucky Coincidence, my ass…" hissed Naruto. "I see through your strategy--"

"Proud of yourself, are you?"

Naruto continued as if she never spoke. "You can hit me, but I can't hit you, right? Well use your stupid kamaitachi jutsu, I've been through worse!"

"The second I use my kamaitachi, the smoke clears and I'm a sitting duck again. Did you really think I'm stupid enough to fall for your bait?   If you really want to '_kick my ass' _like you said, you're going to have to come in after me. Unless Leaf's number one genin is too scared…" Temari mocked, hoping to bait Naruto to attack. "You are scared… I'm right, aren't I? I bet all your talk about kicking my ass and becoming Hokage was pure _bullshit_. You act all tough, but on the inside, you're nothing but a spineless coward, a scaredy cat--"

Naruto's fist tightened as memories of Sasuke calling him that very name flashed in Naruto's mind. Insults against his intelligence were a dime a dozen, having to deal with them every since starting at the academy, but jabs at his courage? After facing down a jounin in Wave Country, no one had the right to call him a scaredy cat.

Naruto and the four remaining shadow clones dived head long into the thick cloud of smoke, intent on hitting the Sand-nin girl for all her insults.

The next few moments were a confused jumble of grabbing, hair pulling, intertwined limbs, thrown punches, missed kicks, and not so kind curse words. But as the smoke began to thin, Naruto and his one remaining shadow clone were left standing and the sand-nin, Temari, was sprawled on the dirt path, unconscious.

"We did it! We did it!" Clone Naruto's yelled while doing a happy dance. "We sure kicked her ass, didn't we? Hey, what's with the face? You look like you're going to bite my head off or something." Clone-Naruto said to Genuine-Naruto, who was eyeing his shadow clone.

"How do I know," Genuine-Naruto said suspiciously, "you're actually the real me? She could have just transformed into me to set me up." Genuine-Naruto brandished his kunai threateningly. "For all I know, you're going to stab me the second I turn my back,"

"Don't be stupid," said Clone Naruto, taking a step back. "We've been through this before. Remember the genin trials? We had Kakashi-sensei exactly where we wanted him, but then he used Kawamiri and completely threw us off." Clone Naruto saw Genuine Naruto nod, remembering. "Now, before _you_ do anything stupid, like sticking me in the ass with your kunai, can I suggest you just _cancel_ the stupid justu?"

"Oh, right," said Real-Naruto. "Sounds like a plan."

Naruto cancelled his Kage Buushin, making the Clone-Naruto vanish with a pop, affirming his victory against Temari.  It was almost too good to be true. His first fight against a sand-nin and he had won without any help from Sakura or Sasuke.

"Too bad you're such a bitch," said Naruto, shaking his head at Temari's limp body. "You're actually kind of cute…"

Naruto turned around and was startled to see Konohamaru already conscious and upright. "Hey, you're finally up!" Naruto jogged over to check on his little friend. "You okay now? The retarded clown didn't hurt you too much did--"

His question died on his lips as Konohamaru's fist rammed itself deep into Naruto's stomach. He doubled over forward, coughing up blood on Konohamaru's arm.

Naruto looked down, his expression an equal mix of shock and confusion. "W-Why?"

"Because," An un-becoming sneer spread across Konohamaru's face. "You called me a bitch."

And suddenly, in an explosion of smoke, Konohamaru disappeared, and standing in his place was a virulent Temari. "But..." her face softened. "You did call me cute." And in a move that would have stunned Naruto if his stomach weren't in such agonizing pain, Temari pressed her lips to his brow and kissed him.

"How did you--"

"Easy. Smoke bomb, Buushin, Henge, and some Genjutsu to disguise the Buushin. But enough of this fight, I have a pressing matter to attend to. It's been fun, kid."

Before Naruto could protest, he felt something metallic and very large slam into the side of his head, and then he felt nothing at all.

**

Hope people like the fight scenes, and if you don't, well... leave me a review telling me why, :p. Constructive Criticisms help me find the weakness in my writing.

 **Cyber1: **Especially Ninja kids, can imagine if you had to take care a group of kids that acted like Naruto? **Vivian:** Thanks. **Dan Inverse: **Kinda weird, but I guess I have weird plots, :p. Snake guy plays a part… kinda… **:D**: Hooked is right! **Bass clef: **Took me long enough, huh? Hehe I should try to be more dedicated. **Kawaii Kenshin:** Thanks, glad you liked the sister-- I pray she doesn't come out Mary-sueish 


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